Memento Mori Continued
by PersonallyV
Summary: The beginning of my AU series. This story is told by Hetty in 1904, (written when Sara returns to Montreal with her father.) In these chapters you will learn about the Hetty King you think you know. This story begins when Hetty is a 13, almost 14, in 1873, and begins with the death of her mother. Story continues until 1904. AU sort of, OC's will be included. Hope you enjoy. 3's -V
1. January 1873

Chapter 1

Hetty King January 1873, aged 13

"_If something should happen to me... You're very brave, you're the oldest and I know that you'll be able to take care of your brothers and sisters."_

Those were some of my mothers' last words to me. They were her message to me, cryptically, in her final days here in our beloved Avonlea. Unbeknownst to me, or any of us children, mother was sick, becoming worse by the day. She tried to hide it of course, but even I had noticed that she had suddenly aged very quickly, and looked constantly tired. However, at 13, I would have never suspected that my mother would soon be dead. Instead of admitting what in hindsight was obvious, I made myself believe that mother was just tired, and that maybe she was just going to go away, somewhere, to get better.

I had read about places like that, health spas or some such nonsense like that, the rich ladies in my books sometimes went there when they were sick, or needed some diversions. Now, of course we were by no means wealthy, but I knew that if mother were sick, father would move heaven and earth to make her better again.

By the next morning mother was barely alive, neither I, or any of the children wanted to see her, but none the less father ushered us in to their bedroom, where she lay on their bed. Looking back on it, I know that seeing her, for that last time was both a blessing and a curse. In a way all of us were able to have closure, we knew she was dying, so did she, and thru that she told us what she wanted us to know.

She started with Ruth first, since Olivia was too young to understand much of anything. "My little Sunshine" she started, her special nickname for my little blonde sister, "I want you to be a good girl and listen to Daddy and Hetty. You can do that can't you?" Ruth was perfectly confused and terrified by the gravitas of the situation, but none the less nodded her head, and mother smiled at her.

My two brothers were next, Roger had just turned five a week earlier and Alec would be ten in several months. Respectively she made them promise to work hard in school and help father with the work on the farm. Like Ruth, Roger I don't think truly understood what was happening, or perhaps I am still babying his mind, as everyone says I do. Alec, on the other hand, understood completely. He was calm, and smiled as he normally would, but his voice was much quieter, more serious than normal, and his eyes looked truly sorrowful.

When it came my turn, honestly I don't know what I expected. I guess every girl, and every other person on earth, dreams that death makes people more wise, dreamy and less grounded in reality. But, Leticia King was almost always one for practicality in all situations, and once again as I leaned down towards her she repeated what she had said weeks previous. "You're very brave, you're the oldest and I know that you'll be able to take care of your brothers and sisters."

"I could never take care of the children, I don't know how..." At that time no truer words had ever been spoken in my life. I was thirteen, soon to be fourteen in June, and while I was the oldest, I was still a child in so many ways.

Despite my protests she smiled at me, "you'll know when the time comes." I lifted my head up and away from hers, turning to go back to stand with my siblings, but she caught my hand. "Hetty, I love you so very much. I know you can do this. I believe in you," and with that she smiled and let go of my hand.

"Alright children, let's give your mother some room." Father said, in what could best be described as false cheer mixed with desperation. He knew, just like I know knew, that mother was almost gone. There was nothing that could be done, except to protect the children of what innocence they still had. "Hetty..." he said, his false smile faltering by the minute "why don't you go make some toast and eggs in the kitchen for everyone. Good breakfast to start the day. And you all go down and see to it that you help." I was handed Olivia who looked both bewildered and depressed, and with one final look back I saw my mother for the last time.

We were in the kitchen when the doctor arrived, joined by my Aunt Millicent. Alec led them upstairs, and as he came back down our aunt was almost on his heels. Never a woman of sentimentality, she sat at the table between Olivia and Roger, and asked for some toast. At first I found the request odd, or perhaps not dramatic enough for the situation. Here our mother, her own sister, was in the big bed upstairs, dying, and she wanted toast. My promise in mind, and what little believe I seemed to have in myself, I stood up and walked to the stove, getting the toast she asked for.

As I turned around to face her I noticed something I had never before seen in my Aunt Millicent, something I failed to notice the first time I looked at her. There, sitting at the table was my proper, old maid of an aunt, all forty plus years of her. Her sour expression was still cemented on to her face, but instead of her being neat and tidy, as she always did, instead her hair was falling out of place, framing her face and making her look younger than normal. In all of my thirteen years, and the twenty years she lived afterwards I never again saw my maiden aunt look so disheveled. It was then that everything truly began to sink in. And, as I handed her the plate, I realized, nothing would ever be the same again.


	2. February 1873

Chapter 2

Hetty King February 1873, aged 13

I never saw a day as dark and foggy as the day of my mothers funeral. The beginning of February it was, and though the service took place in the early afternoon, the sky looked as if it were near dusk. Mama looked like an angel laying in her casket at the front of the church. Even with such a dark sky outside, some light came thru the big red stained glass windows, casting a heavenly glow on her.

As I led Olivia and Ruth up to the casket the red light shone on us as well, causing Ruth to laugh. At only two, of course she was forgiven, but as much as I wanted to smile or laugh back, I knew I couldn't. With mama gone all the aunts had swarmed our house, each wanting to take away one of my siblings, splitting us up, and getting some sort of free labor in the process. Like mama had said, as the oldest it was my job to take care of the children. Any small mistake and I knew an aunt would swoop even closer, possibly taking one of my siblings. I was no longer child, I could no longer afford to be a sibling. Now, instead I was mother, or as close to mother as I could get myself to be. Everything had to be perfect, if it wasn't we would be split up, and I would be letting mama down.

That day marked what could only be summed up as the end to the worst week of my life. Despite their promises, and their best efforts to do otherwise, the children (combined with the aunts) were running me ragged. All of us had been excused from school, on account of the circumstances, but I still made my two brothers go regardless, a decision that got me as close to a smile as old Aunt Jean had ever come to making one. However, while the decision seemed popular with the aunts, neither of the boys much liked it, and made that fact known, very loudly, when they arrived home after the first day. Thankfully, after that first day, my insistence that they go continued, and little fuss was made, at least to my face little fuss was made.

During that week I stayed home with Ruth and Olivia. Neither of them were particularly troublesome, at least that I can remember, but the whole process was so new to me. Of course I realized that mother did many different things, but I, until then, had never realized how dependent both the children and the house were on her love and affection. Olivia had just barely learned to crawl, so I had to carry her everywhere, and Ruth wouldn't sit still for a moment. So, to say chores were near impossible would be an understatement, but somehow I got them all done. Every night a different Aunt, sometimes with an Uncle, sometimes without, came to dinner, silently inspecting myself and the children. And, whilst it nearly killed me, we had gotten through everything so far with no pertinent threats of aunts trying to split us up.

Befitting mothers status and position in the community, nearly the whole town turned out for the funeral, even those people who did not go to our church, or any church regularly. I sat up in the left front pew with the girls and Roger. Alec, father, and Aunts Millicent and Gertrude sat in the center front pew. While other assorted person's, both family and friends sat elsewhere. As we sat there baby Olivia cried only once, and I was quickly able to silence her with a soft toy I had brought. Ruth fell asleep halfway through the service while Roger read not only the whole of the funeral program, but also began reading the bible as well. However, they were all quiet and well behaved, so the aunts stayed at bay.

I don't think for that whole time we were in the church I am ever felt at peace, or calmed, as I had always felt before in church. Instead I felt like all eyes were on me. For the first time in my life I felt like a grown-up. And, like the past week, I did not like it one bit. In fact I would have given up anything, including my collection of books just to have mama back. I told that to God during the funeral, when the reverend was talking, I simply closed my eyes and prayed. No, praying isn't the right word. Begging was more of what I actually did. I begged God to bring mama back. I told him he could have anything or anyone, even me, just to bring mama back to us. I kept my eyes closed long after I finished begging to God. As long as my eyes were closed I could pretend everything was normal, and that we were simply at the funeral of someone else, a distant cousin. Opening my eyes would make me have to face the truth, that nothing had changed, mama was still dead, and I was now raising four children and running a house, things I never wanted to do, at least not so soon in life.


	3. June 1874

Chapter 3  
>Hetty King June 1874, aged 15<p>

The day of my fifteenth birthday is one I do not think I will ever be able to forget, as it started with a fire and ended in the ocean. In our family there had always been the tradition that whoevers birthday it was that day, did not have to get up at the regular time, but instead was allowed to sleep in a little later than normal. However, being the oldest, and with mother gone, last year the tradition ended for me as I had to wake up at five as I normally do to get the fire started, breakfast cooked, children woke up, fed, cleaned up, dressed and to wherever it was that they needed be. At three and two, Ruth and Olivia were still too young for school, but thankfully one of the girls who had just graduated school that year, Irene Steamer, was only two years older than I was, lived nearby and was willing to watch the girls. Unbeknownst to me, or any of us, that choice of letting Irene watch the girls would one day change all of our lives. But, at the time Irene Steamer was simply the beautiful raven haired girl who I had gone to school with, played childhood games, and was living at home with her parents, waiting to get married, and until then, watching my younger siblings.

*Thud*

"Wake Up Now Please Hea-y!"

To be honest I knew who this was before I had even opened my eyes. I have heard many different sayings about old habits, and even though Olivia's new wakeup call was not particularly old, it was becoming something I was having great difficulty in curbing. Ever since mother had died, it seemed that at least once a night one or two of the children would come into my room and try and get into bed with me. And, while I could usually get them to go back to their rooms, Olivia was proving my downfall. But, to be honest, to me, while she was my sibling, she was more like a daughter, or a niece that I was particularly fond of. Next to Ruth, she was my favourite sibling, and her happiness was similarly contagious. But, what at that moment was most puzzling to me was why she was waking me up, when usually I was the one who woke her up, and usually not until just before I would take her to Irene's house.

It was in the moment I opened my eyes that I realized just part of why Olivia was waking me up so early. Looking around my room, which was filled with light, I realized it was not five, the time when I normally woke up.

"What time is it..." I wondered as I reached for my alarm clock, which had been a wedding present of mother and fathers, whilst simultaneously trying to maneuver Olivia who was sitting squarely on my stomach. "Befast Tie!" Olivia said with such enthusiasm, more than anyone should be able to muster in the morning. As I looked at the clock, the hour ashamed me, so, for sake of saving face, I will refer to the hour I was woken up as Olivia called it 'breakfast time'. Very very late breakfast time.

Getting out of my bed I looked at my baby sister. "Have you eaten yet?" I asked as I put my dressing gown on. However, she did not have time to give me any response As I finally got a good look at my charming two year old sister I noticed that she had flour not only on her nose, but it in her deep chestnut hair.

"What have you gotten into?"

"Nutins"

"Nothing my Aunt Fanny. Well, we'll soon see what this is all about." And with that I picked Olivia up and made my way to what ... well, I wasn't sure what exactly I was making my way to. But, in opening the door not only were all my worst fears realized, but some fears I didn't even know I possessed became realized as well.

That is to say in my previously spotless kitchen I was confronted with my three other younger siblings, attempting (I assumed) to cook, but there was more food on their clothes and in their hair than was in any plate or pan I could see. Out of the three of them Alec was closest to me. It looked like he had gone through some sort of thunderstorm, as he was not only wet from head to toe, but also all of his hair was sticking up, all of which looked like the result of pancake batter. Roger was somewhere in between setting the table and making the pancakes, as he had a liberal amount of the batter in his hair. But Ruth, my three year old blonde, angelic, baby sister was the one cooking, and with black smoke coming out of the pan I could see things were not going according to plan.

Looking back on that day, I always think of it as the day that I realized that I had finally grown up. A year previous I would have been frustrated, but would have laughed at them all the same. And, before that I would have joined in. But not that year, and in no years afterwards would I ever join any of my siblings in anything this catastrophic in a kitchen. And, perhaps what I write most emphatically, what happened next would most definitely never happen ever again.  
>It might surprise you to know that it was not the pan the caught on fire. As soon as Alec saw me in the kitchen he immediately walked over to the stove and pulled it off. Why he had not taken control sooner, heaven only know. However, Roger, poor sensitive child that he is, tried to run away from the anger he knew was coming. Sadly in trying to run away he tripped, hitting the table and knocking over a lit candle. How anyone could be that clumsy I still do not know. But, thankfully the fire was small and we put it out quickly and with relatively little difficulty.<p>

What exactly transpired next, well, a good christian woman does not write of such things, but I will admit it was the first time that I had truly and honestly resorted to physical punishments, and that it did take all three of my siblings several days until they could sit down properly. Now before you think me too much of a tyrant, as I know that that some people have gone soft, physical punishment has to mean something, that is to say, if you want the child to learn the lesson, it needs to be reiterated, in that case the reiteration was through physical punishment. After that time, however, I never resorted to that type of punishment ever again, instead assigning extra chores as punishments.

To be honest, the rest of the day went by quickly. All of the children stayed either in their rooms, or went outside. Out of everyone, only Olivia stayed with me that day, but that was mostly because she really had no choice, and being so young I did not much punish her. Although it was my birthday I no longer had time to indulge in what others normally do. Instead, after supervising the children in cleaning the kitchen, I made sandwiches, left them on the table for everyone to take as they wished, and took Olivia out to the field to have a small picnic, as the day was just too lovely to let pass by.

It was nearly time for me to begin making dinner, I was in the parlor with Olivia practicing her letters and reading when Alec, Roger and Ruth came into the room. "We have a surprise for you" Roger said, nearly mumbling over his words. I inwardly panicked, was there any way they could have gotten back into the kitchen. 'Please God' I thought silently 'please let my kitchen still be in one piece.'

"And where is this surprise?"

"That's part of the surprise!" Ruth said smiling at me. All three of them looked quite happy, and not at all angry about what had happened earlier.

"You have got to trust us Hetty, you will love it. But we've got a little bit of a distance to go. I hooked up the buggy, so you go get a sweater on, or whatever it is that girls wear. And come outside." Alec looked rather pleased with himself. I smiled back at him when I handed Olivia to him, that for whatever reason seemed to wipe the smile off his face; at eleven he was not very impressed with babies, he probably would have rather Olivia be a frog or something similar.

Getting into the buggy with the children, and trusting them to drive would be considered a dangerous task on a normal outing. But, this being a surprise was made even more harrowing by the fact that they all demanded that I wear a blindfold. Normally, of course I would never do something so foolish, and inwardly I knew I would come to regret it, sooner rather than later, but there was a part of me, somewhere deep inside, that they had touched earlier, a part of me, the child still within me, that still wanted a little bit of excitement in her life. So, risking life and limb (and who knows what else) I got in, Roger put a blindfold on me, and we were on our way.

Needless to say I was constantly nervous for the duration of the whole ride, but kept a calm facade. Of course it would have ruined the surprise, but I did wish I knew what was going to happen - goodness providence knew I had had enough surprises in that one day to last me for a very long time afterwards. However, the children were quite adamant in keeping the secret, even Ruth, who could barely keep anything secret, remained silent for the most ride.

"Won't you at least give me a hint?"

"No" Alec said emphatically, "We just want to surprise you, can't you leave it be."

"I've had enough surprises for today."

"I promise Hetty, no more cooking. It's too difficult, and it's girls stuff anyways. If father doesn't know how to cook, I don't have to."

"Are you sure it isn't the strip on your back that makes you promise?" I asked, keeping my laughter as inward as possible.

"No ..." Alec began. "Well maybe..." Roger continued.

"Yes!" At least I could count on Ruth to be more honest than the boys. As I began to ponder how to get those two to become more honest, the buggy stopped. "Know where you are yet?"

"With this blindfold on I know nothing."

"Good" Ruth sighed. The relief in her voice made me think that Roger and Alec had threatened her, in order to make her keep the promise, or perhaps dared her. Children always do such foolish things, but I suppose I was still a little bit of a child, so I didn't say anything. "Ready?" Alec asked

"As ready as I suppose I will ever be." I had to lean down after that, so that Roger could untie my blindfold, he may be taller than I am now, but in those days Roger was only six, so I indulged him, leaned down and finally was able to be rid of the blindfold.

The first thing I saw as the blindfold was taken off, was a very familiar sight to me. Smiling at me, and missing two of his front teeth, stood Roger. Even smiling at me, with his near black hair and dark deep eyes, my youngest brother looked - as he was - quite a serious boy, always with a small touch of sadness about him. The seriousness had always been very much a trait of my baby brother, the sadness, however was new, and didn't quite fit with the Roger I knew and loved. I suppose I had lost myself in though, I couldn't help it

"You know, there is more to see besides Roger. It's not like he is your surprise."

"You watch that tongue of yours Alexander King" I scolded as I turned around "you know what teacher says if you don't have anything nice to say ...oh my." As I began to really lay into Alec, I had every intention of continuing no matter what the surprise, but as I saw it, I was marked speechless. While I believe the children had been mopeing around all day, it seemed that I had been wrong. Instead, they had been planning what looked like a picnic on the beach.

"We hope you like it Hetty. We all knew that we ruined the breakfast surprise, so we thought we'd try to make it up to you. Miss Steamer helped us make sandwiches, so don't worry there was no real cooking involved. We borrowed the tent and the blankets from Reverend Ward, so everything is all clean, and as neat a possible for a sand picnic. I remember how much you use to love them before everything. It's not fancy or anything but..."

I knew I had to interrupt my brother. "It's absolutely perfect Alec. Who needs fancy when you have the whole ocean." As he smiled back at me I could see that, for both of us it had all been worth it. I was most definitely not our mother, nor would I ever pretend to be - doing so would have been a ridiculous waste of breath. But, despite its' many challenges I was enjoying watching my brothers and sisters grow up. What the future had in store, at that time I had no earthly clue. However, what I did know was that, no matter what I would be there for all of them, for as long as it was possible. And, for once since the death of our mother I knew that everything would work out perfectly.

"Last one to the bottom is a rotten egg!" If Roger hadn't gone into archaeology, with a voice as loud as that I would have said he would work out perfectly in a theatre.

I laughed as I watch my brothers both stream down the dune hill. Even though he started later, and was running while carrying Olivia, Alec had a good six inches on Roger, so the race was good. Holding Ruth's hand we began to walk down the dune, but it wasn't long before she pulled on my hand.

"Hetty?"

"What sunshine?"

"Just this once can we run?"

I let go of her hand.

"Well, you heard Roger, last one to the bottom is a rotten egg!"

* * *

><p>Authors Note: My goodness I didn't expect that to be so long! Reviews are always loved. Is there any thing in particular anybody wants to see? Tell me all darlings! 3's - V<p> 


	4. December 1875

Chapter 4

Hetty King, December 1875, aged 16

"Alec you be careful with that case. Roger that is a hat box, not a hoop, treat it likewise, if you would." To be honest it was all going much better than I had expected it to. Both of the boys were transporting my small amount of luggage to the buggy, and we were even running ahead of schedule by about 10 minutes.

"Hebby! "

However, there was an outcome that I had been expecting.

"Pwease no weave. _Pwease_!" Screamed three year Olivia as she attempted, for the seventh time, to climb up my skirt. Thinking back on it, I should have never told Olivia that I was leaving before hand, as she had worked herself into a right state by the time I was ready to leave. At that moment I knew that I had two options, neither of which particularly thrilled me. I could either pick up Olivia, and try and comfort her that way, or I could simply continue dragging her about on my skirt. And, to be honest, only one of those options really sounded like it had any potential.

"Now Olivia Jane..." I began in the softest tone I could possibly muster "I'll only be gone for a week, not long at all. And just think daddy is going to be home to take care of you. That will be a nice change, won't it? Yes. I think you will all have a good ... OLIVIA JANE!" To be honest I could not help yelling that last part, as my three year old sister, who was flailing about, grabbed hold of the top of my bun, pulling all my hair down. Thankfully, it did not hurt at all, but now my hair was down, which made me look like a child. At sixteen I had finally been able to put my hair, and now Olivia had ruined it. It was a good thing that everything had been previously been ahead of schedule; as I would need that time to make my hair look somewhat acceptable.

"Alec" I shouted for my brother. "Alec!" How far away could that boy possibly be? "Alexander James!"

Even though he was only four years younger than I, I had, in time, trained Alec to my three warning system. In taking care of my siblings the three system, as it was called, was a way of not only getting a childs' attention, but, getting them to mind in a timely fashion. So far Roger and Ruth were perfect models for the three system; and usually came before I had time to yell for the second time. Alec, unfortunately usually arrived at the third warning.

In his best dress shirt, and overalls on top, Alec looked like the beginnings of a perfect escort for my short journey. " Here take Olivia for me" I said as I passed her over to him. Like normal, when it came to young children, Alec had a look of disgust on his face (which eventually wore off by the time he started courting Helen WIlliams with her brood of siblings).  
>"I don't see why I have to hold her."<p>

"Honestly Alec, it will only be for a moment" I explained as I attempted to fix my hair " I just need you to hold her while..." as I pointed towards my hair "I fix this damage." Olivia continued to scream and flail about like some sort of young calf. In between sobs and random squaks she cried out "no go, no go" or "pwease Hebby."

"It's Hetty." I corrected her, "how many times must we go over this Olivia Jane?" I avoided talking about why Olivia was crying. The subject should have been avoided until now anyway, but Ruth had blurted something out last night at the dinner table, and it had only proceeded from there. " I cannot understand why you feel the need to carry on like this?"

"She's gonna miss you Hetty"

"And while I am glad of that Alec King, we cannot simply allow ourselves to go to pieces everytime someone goes away for a week. Just think, if the whole world did, Nothing will ever get done."

"Well, if you cannot get her to stop crying, I fear nothing will get done while you're away" came the voice from the other side of the wall. In a moment of near reverie Olivia's screams subsided, momentarily attracted to the sound of our fathers voice.

Although father had taken good care of us since mother had passed, the care had been mostly in the form of monetary concessions. With five mouths to feed, and a family he was too saddened to come home to, after mother died father spent a great deal of his time away from Avonlea, sometimes even as far away as Montreal, following jobs, and sending the money back to myself, who was in charge of not on the children, but the house and budget as well. My brothers, and our nearby Uncle Dixby - along with our hired man Jake - worked the farm, making a good run of it, and supplying many of the things I needed for the general running of the house. As a widower our Uncle Dixby had lived the majority of his live right down the road from us, and would eventually live with Alec and Janet for the final several years of his life. But, enough of the future.

Sadly, whatever effect father seemed to have over Olivia was quickly wiped away as she began screaming again, just as I had finished pinning my hair. "Take her" Alec practically yelled as he thrust Olivia back at me.

"Gentle!" I yelled after his figure which was retreating towards the door " she is not a sack of flour. No matter how chubby she looks!"

"Hetty Beth, you should know as well as anyone that telling a near teenage boy to be gentle is no short order. Why just look at that boy who use to follow you around, that Rommy fellow..."

"Romney Penhallow" I said as handed Olivia to our father.

"That's it, now look at him now about as clumsy as a newborn calf, and just about as ugly as one." Father laughed as his own joke. Oh how petty my father could, then be at times. Before mother had died he had been a gentle, kind soul. Somewhere, it was still in him, I knew it, but the way he acted was more akin to the attitude of a common thief or peddler. And, his jokes all sounded like they came out of some sort of saloon. No, this was not the father i had so previously known and loved.

In just several short years he had changed in such ways I could have never predicted. Not only had his general humour and attitude changed, but also had his nature and his actions towards the children. Except Alec, the children were really too young to have noticed or realized such. But, we both had, and we had no ideas of what to do in order to rectify it. Until a plan could be figured father would just have to come in and out of our lives as he was my job to make sure everything else was stable, at least everything as it pertained to the children, home, family and Avonlea. That's what mother believed I could do, and it was what I would do.

However, that day, that upcoming week was different. It was my interview for normal school, where, if I could be accepted and do well, I could one day become a real teacher. It was one of my first times away from Avonlea, and my first time away from the house since mothers' death.

Despite my promises otherwise, my siblings all knew this would be a hard week for all of us. Not only would I be away from home for the first time, but father was back for the first time, or at least for the longest he had been back since the death.

I must admit leaving them alone with him, especially with the previous kitchen experience of the boys and Ruth, I wondered what state of home I would be coming home to next week.

"Alright Miss Olivia, you ready to see Hetty Beth off on her adventure?" Father asked my still crying sister.

"Maybe I shouldn't leave... Maybe this is a mistake...Perhaps I could take my lessons here, a correspondence course." My nerves were beginning to get the better of me. Maybe this was just too much of an adventure for me.

"And maybe the sky will fall, but you never know until you try" Came a voice from the corner of the room.

"Roger, have you been standing there that whole time? And, since when did you start listening to what I tell you?"

"It's not a bad place, good for hiding. And, I've always listened, I just pretend not to."

"Why?"

"Because it drives you crazy" called Alec from the doorway "Now c'mon Hetty, or you shall be late, and this will have all been for nothing."

"Alec King, you know better not to eaves drop" I said as I walked outside and got upon the buggy. Father, holding the fussing Olivia, and Roger were behind me. "Where is Ruth?" I asked, pointedly looking at Roger, those two were as thick as thieves sometimes.

"She's in her room, playing dolls and crying."

"Crying?"

"She's gonna miss you, but she's a big girl." Roger looked at Olivia as he said the last part of the sentence. And, to be honest I have no clue of whether she heard him or not, as she still carried on. To be honest I half expected father to hand her to me as I hugged him and her goodbye. Olivia once again tried to cling on to me, but this time, aware of it, I was able to avoid her fat little hands.

As I got in the buggy and Alec drove us away a myriad of feeling exploded inside me. The best way to describe it would to call it a mixture of absolute exhilaration and sheer dread.

"We'll all be fine" Alec said, reading my mind like he was increasingly prone to do now a days.

"I know, but leaving... there faces all looked so sad, like no one wants this to happen."

"You want it to happen, don't you? To go to this school?"

"More than anything in the world. Although no place here or anywhere will ever replace my beloved Avonlea."

"Then go, get your degree and come back, we'll wait for you. And besides, this is only one week. It's hard now because it is new. By the time you have to start attending school Olivia will be much more prepared for separation. And, if anything goes too badly we always have the neighbors."

"Oh, that reminds me, should anything happen, should you need any help, go to the Steamers and fetch Irene, she promised to help if any way need. Tell father that too."

"I will." By this time we had arrived at the train station where Alec helped me carry my bags and get settled on the train. As he went to leave he hugged me, something I couldn't remember him doing in such a long time.

"Hetty?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't be gone too long."

"It's only one week Alec. No more than that, I promise."

"Good" he said smiling "We'd fall apart without you. Mother was right, you know exactly what to do everytime."

And, before I had a chance to say anything, he had disappeared, until I could see him, walking down the platform, and back home.

In that next week, away from Avonlea, I saw more and learned more than I ever had previously. I saw for the first time that there was a world beyond Avonlea. There were people I had never met, and were not related to. Worldly people who cared for more than the latest gossip, but instead had lengthy conversations about grammar and philosophy. Up until I had gone away from Avonlea I had never imagined the world was like this at all, I never wanted to leave, but then, it all changed, and it was there, less than a year later I would meet someone, fall in love and have my life begin to change forever.


	5. September 1876 - Part I

Authors Note: Hey everyone, just a quick chapter (and I mean really quick), to make way for Chapter 6, which will be set in the same time and place. Enjoy 3's - V

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

Hetty King, September 1876, Aged 17

Part I

Out of the whole year, my favourite season was always autumn, not only was it the beginning of the new school year, but the whole world was in flux, trees changing, leaves falling. Now, of course I was never an expert at prose, but if I had ever possessed the talent, I would write countless volumes about autumn.

"Henrietta King?!"

"Present." I nearly squeaked.

"Present, Ma'am. Miss King. You will find you are no long in your little backwater communities here at the Prince Edward Island Normal School we use the Queens English. You will do well to remember that.

"Yes, Ma'am.

However, that September morning, my usual love for both autumn and school was no where to be seen. It was on that day, in the beginning of September, when I was seventeen, that I attended my first day of school at the Prince Edward Island Normal School. If I had the chance I would have liked to have gone to a University far far away from Prince Edward Island, but in those days women rarely went to any type of higher education, except for teaching colleges and, with my siblings still so young, it would have been irresponsible for me to go very far for a long period of time. To be very honest, I considered myself very lucky to be able to attend the Prince Edward Island Normal School for the term that I needed to receive my teaching degree.

When I first contemplated attending school to receive education in the art of teaching there were many different problems. The first and foremost of these problems was my father. Old beyond his years, he had taken the death of my mother very hard, and found his solace in traveling around the country working jobs here and there, in order to make the best money he could. At the same time, being the oldest, I began to fulfil a promise made to my mother to take care of my four younger siblings.

A year previous to my seventeenth, Ms Wigins who had been teaching the young minds of Avonlea for over twenty years had decided to retire in two years time. Now, of course publicly she didn't name her successor, but, over the years she had told me that I always reminded her of a teacher. That, combined with the fact that I needed to stay close to home, made becoming a teacher the perfect plan. It was something I could do well, without really having to ever settle down, and, once the children were grown up, if I ever got the mind to, I could always travel, and see the world as I taught about it.

So, in the autumn of my sixteenth year I applied to the Prince Edward Island Normal School, where that December I was summoned for interviews and personality observances. And, that was when the change in my father began, subtle at first, and then broad and sweeping as my father began to seem less like the man he had been for the previous two or three years, and more like the father I had always loved and idolized. Like I previously stated the changes were small at first, except for a brief moment after Alec and Roger broke a window in the front parlor, father managed to happily take care of the children for an entire week while I was away for interviews and tests. He did of course have some help from our neighbor Miss Irene Steamer, but I will admit that even I could not have survived those two years without her help. After that week father went back to roaming around looking for jobs, but he came back to Avonlea more and more frequently, until at the party for my seventeenth birthday he announced he had decided he would be staying home for good, and getting an honest, safe job in Avonlea.

To say I was shocked at his announcement would have been an understatement, in truth we all were, except Irene Steamer, as he had asked her advice on this whole matter. But, since it meant I could attend teachers college, I decided not to question him, and true to his word, when it came time he dropped me off at the station in the end of August, the children in tow, and with minimal protest from Olivia, here I was.

Looking back on my first days at teachers college I wish I could say that they went well. However, that would be far from the truth. Not only did it seem as if I were completely unprepared for this level of education, I was also nearly crippled by homesickness, which wasn't helped when on my fourth day of school I received a letter from Roger and Ruth, who at the time were eight and five, respectively. Instead of telling all of the letters contents I feel I should just copy the letter, to make it all the more easier, now of course Roger wrote most of the letter - he always was the most thoughtful of my siblings - but I have corrected some of the spelling mistakes that he had made:

_Dear Hetty, _

_How is school going? Everything here is good. We miss you a lot. Father does very good, even with Olivia, who cries a lot. Dad says hi and study hard. Alec tells me to leave him alone - he has a new girlfriend, Sara Damon. Ruth sleeps in your bed at night, Olivia too. Olivia says come home. Tell us everything. Send a postcard.  
>Love, Roger, Ruth and Olivia<em>

Now, it doesn't seem like a very sad letter, but for me it will always be one of the saddest I ever read. Not only did it break my heart to hear about poor little Olivia, but it also was painful to realize that without me, everyones' lives continued. Even though I had seen so early in life that one person was not essential for the continuation of life, for the children I thought my presence would always be necessary. Thankfully something in the next day changed my mind about everything I had ever known, and made me forget about the children, my father and Avonlea as a whole. That thing was Wallace Duncan.

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><p>What did you all think? Excited? Confused? Send me a review ;) 3's - V<p> 


	6. September 1876 - Part II

Chapter 5 Part II

Hetty King, September 1876, Aged 17

"Oh it's going to be so much fun Hetty, why don't you come with us?" My roomate was currently practicing her odd version of the Waltz in the free space of our room. Tonight was what she kept referring to as "the big night" as her newest beau was coming over from across across campus (our school being a small offshoot of the Prince of Wales College) where he was studying Latin or something equally as useless.

"I wouldn't feel right, intruding on your big evening with Norbert" I said, somewhat sulkily, from the chair and desk in our little shared room.

"You wouldn't be intruding! Norby's bringing a bunch of his friends along. It will be fun. I bet you're great at dancing!" I hated to admit it, but her smile was infectious, and I really hadn't any beaus since Romney.

"I don't dance Anne." It was the truth

"Then don't dance. Just come and flirt like mad with all the attractive boys. Please?! It won't be any fun without you.

Honestly, the thought of going to a dance scared me. I had never really been to one with people I did not know. But, that was why I left Avonlea, wasn't it? To meet new people, learn about the world beyond Avonlea.

"I guess it would be fun to meet some people..." I had little time to say anything else as Anne came bounding over to hug me. "I promise you'll have the best time. Maybe we'll even find you a beau"

"And maybe one day pigs will fly." I said under my breath. Thankfully Anne did not hear me, I thought she was rather flippant, but she was so very kind, and being away from Avonlea I needed all the friends I could find.

What I thought would be a night to forget began at 6pm that night, when Norbert came to pick up Anne and myself. The group of attractive men that Anne had gone on about turned out to be one man; Wallace Duncan. Taller than me he had black hair and beautiful blue eyes, he had yet to outgrow that awkward gawky manner of most young men, but somehow, with him it seemed natural, and not in any way abnormal. From the moment Norbert and Anne were together, they forget about us, instead focussing so intently on one another I thought I might have seen smoke coming out of their ears at some point during the night. However, Wallace was quite handsome, so I did not particularly mind.

"You must be Annes' roommate, I'm Wallace Duncan.

"Glad to make your acquaintance, I'm Hetty. Henrietta King."

He smiled at me then, a completely goofy smile that made my heart feel odd for a second. "I see Anne and Norbert aren't going to be much company tonight." He said as they began walking away from the two of us.

"I suppose not, but we better catch up with them, I have no idea where we're going."

He began laughing and offered his arm to me "Me neither." And so we walked.

The night outside was one of those perfect fall nights where the air has just got a chill to it, but not enough to be uncomfortable. However, despite our previous rapport, Wallace was not as talkative as he had been when we first met.

"Hetty, there's something I've got to tell you."

"Hm?"

"Well...you see...the thing is..."

"Yes..."

"I'm a lousy dancer. The only reason I came along to the dance was because Norbert said there would be free cookies. I'm sorry if you wanted to dance or anything...Not that you still can't...I mean ... you're free to dance with whomever you like. Just so long as it's not me. I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. You're just so pretty and me ... I just have two left feet and didn't want to see like such a fool."

Honestly I blocked him out after 'you're just so pretty'. In my life I had always been complimented on a number of features and attributes: punctuality, precision, perseverance, etc. But, never once in my life had anyone called me pretty. "Pretty"

"I'm sorry, what?"

I couldn't believe I had said that outloud. I was a future teacher, maybe, a future teacher should have better control over herself. "The sky" I said, grasping desperately for the words, any words to make it better. "The sky is really pretty tonight."

He looked up "it is, isn't it? You know back where I'm from there's this beautiful beach and sometimes my friends and I all go out there and just look up at the sky and the stars."

"Sounds romantic." Would I ever stop putting my foot in my mouth?

"Maybe" he said in a tone that almost sounded wistful "I've been so busy lately I haven't gone in a long time. I'd almost forgotten about it until you mentioned the sky."

So as to not bore anyone the conversation continued on like that for the next ten minutes until we finally reached the barn where the dance was held. True to his word Wallace did not dance at all, and even though I was asked by several gentlemen - including poor Norbert who was probably doing so under the threat of Anne - I turned them all down, choosing to stay with Wallace instead. About halfway through he looked at me, with his head cockeyed. "You know you didn't have to."

"Didn't have to what?"

"Stay here with me. I promise I'll behave if you go dance with someone else." I wondered if he ever really stopped smiling.

"To be honest, I don't really dance either. Too frivolous for me."

"Frivolous? Goodness girl is your vocabulary is any indication of your brain, you'll win the gold medal for sure!"

"You really think so?"

"Sure, you seem very intelligent, and if what you tell me about your siblings is true then you're very dedicated as well. Intelligence and dedication go a long way to earning that medal. Or, so I've been told."

"Well, I appreciate your faith. Thank-you."

"You're welcome." As we continued to talk his mind seemed to be miles away, though he did manage to continue a coherent conversation. But, eventually he came back into focus, and we talked for hours. Talking to him, at least for me, was an odd experience. Never before in my life had I met someone who was interested in the same things that I was. Here was a person I had never met before, that I wasn't related to, and really had no general reason that demanded that he pay attention to me, and yet he did, despite several young ladies who tried to attract his attention otherwise. Except for a brief period he focused on me and accepted me for who I was, and asked nothing in return except for a bit of intelligent conversation. I don't think I could really remember the last time that had happened. And, before I knew it the dance was over, and it was time to go back to our dormitories.

Like any proper young gentlemen of their day, both Wallace and Norbert escorted myself and Anne to the outside of our dorm building. It was late of course, about 10 pm, but we had gotten special permission and on a Friday night, such as that was we were allowed out until 11pm, as that was when matron Taylor - our house mother - went to bed. To give them the utmost privacy, and because neither of us wanted to hear what they were saying, Wallace and I stood off to the side of Anne and Norbert as they talked to each other.

"Miss King, Hetty, I want to thank-you for tonight, I had a good time."

"I had a lovely time as well."

"You know, I was wondering if ... well if..."

I couldn't imagine what he would ask of me, maybe it was needed some tutoring. I raised my eyebrow at him - like I would if one of the children were avoiding a topic. "Yes..."

"Would you like to step out with me some time?"

"Step out? With you?" I wondered if I was hearing him correctly. That is to say ever since mother had died no one had even looked at me in a romantic way, never mind anyone asking if I wanted to step out. After the children came along I became untouchable, never to be approached by the young men of Avonlea. It had prematurely aged me in both spirit and humour, even I could recognize that. And, as sad as it may seem to some, for me it was cold hard fact. It was safe. Not having a beau meant not having to expose yourself to undue emotions, moments of weakness, heartbreak. I always assumed I would be an old maid, no matter what I had thought about going to school, teaching and being married, I only believed that those first two would happen. I had my siblings to take care over, by the time Olivia would be eighteen, I would be thirty-one and beyond the age of confirmed old maid.

As I reasoned with myself I wondered how long Wallace had been standing there, how long I had been thinking inwardly. He must have thought I was an imbecile not saying anything, perhaps not even looking at him. Yet, as I came to my senses, and looked around I realized that he was still looking at me, intent as ever, waiting for my reply. As we locked eyes I instantly directed both my eyes and my entire head downward, and then back up to look at him.

"Stepping out with you sounds lovely." I smiled at him, praying that he hadn't changed his mind. It took several seconds for my words to sink in, but, as they did his face lit up like Ruths on Christmas morning.

"Oh Hetty! You've made me so happy. Oh what shall we do? Where can we go? When are you free?"

With all of his excitement it was my turn laugh at him, and what a funny sight it was. There stood Wallace, all six, or more, feet of him, tall and lanky, smiling like he had just one first prize in a county fair, I swear his voice rose about two octaves as he spoke going from it's normal baritone to something resembling Alec's voice which at it's age of twelve years was beginning to crack with hilarious results.

It was then I realized that, as I had forgotten, we were not alone.

"Seems like you've cast quite a spell on him Hetty King."

"I have done no such thing Anne Marland, he asked me if I would step out with him sometime and I accepted." The goofy smiles on not only on Wallaces face, but also on the faces of Anne and Norbert as well were all quite endearing. "Now Anne we best get inside Matron Taylor will be going to bed soon."

"I suppose" she said, quite glumly as if I was the one who invented the term of curfew "Goodnight Norbert" she smiled at him as she made her way up the stairs. I swore I could already hear Matron tutting at us. "Goodnight Wallace" Anne called from the top of the outside steps.

"Goodnight Norbert. It was nice meeting you." Wallace still looked a bit in a daze, but a happy daze at least. "You better get him home" I said nodding towards Wallace "before he forgets to walk home." I smiled at Norbert "goodnight." I looked at Wallace and smiled, not truly sure if he could see me. "Goodnight Wallace" I said as I turned to walk up the stairs, but as I did he grabbed my hand.

"Goodnight Hetty King" he smiled at me then, as he usually did as if he saw no one else but me. He lifted my hand then and kissed it. After that I don't remember much of what happened. I know Matron Taylor came flying from the building - in her great black dress it did in fact look as if she was literally a great giant black crow. She ushered both Anne and myself into the building, but I was not there, not in spirit anyway. All I could see was Wallace, as focused on me as I was on him. There was no world beside him. At least, no world that I was in anyway conscious of. In those moments it was just Wallace and I, as it would be for almost the entirety of that term. The only time in my life when I had time for any sort of young foolish romance, and with the only boy I would choose to have it with.

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><p>AN - Hi everyone. Hope you're enjoying. This part of the story has really taken on wings of its own -more than I thought it would. So, just for the sake of soothing my writing soul there will be two more chapters about Hetty and the normal school.

In that same vein there is something I would like to mention. Silly me forgot that it was mentioned in RTA where Hetty (and Muriel Stacey) went to college. The school that was mentioned in not only this chapter, but the previous one is, or was, a normal school and associated University that were located in Charlottetown and in operation at the same time as when Hetty would have been going to school. So, in going for historical accuracies I made more story even more AU than I had meant. Sorry about that. Either way I hope everyone is enjoying! Reviews are still always loved! 3's V


	7. November 1876

Chapter 6

Hetty King, November 1876, Aged 17

By late November of my term at teaching college I had been stepping out with Wallace Duncan for two months. For the same two months I had also work being working fiercely in my studies, determined to win the famed gold medal that I had heard so much about. At the time, those two things were the only ones that seemed to matter, everything fell to the wayside including my correspondence with the children. I was not completely out of the loop as at least one child wrote to me every week. However, my replies were short and irregular. This was not of course do to not caring or loving the children, but instead was because of the fact that I had made Wallace, and my schoolwork a more important aspect of my life.

Looking back on it all I wish I had not only written more, but written of Wallace. Instead of knowing why I took so long in responses, and the reasons for my lack of attention, the children believed I had forgotten about them. Olivia even admitted to me once, when she was very ill, that she thought I might have died and no one would tell her, for fear of her reaction. Even after I returned home to Avonlea no one knew of Wallace, he was my secret, the only one I had. My failures with him I wished no one to know, as they were what ashamed me the most. By keeping him secret I avoided not only potential embarrassment and gossip, but I was able to keep what we had pure, and to myself, he was mine, and belonged to no one else.

Those first two months were very difficult, and at the time seemed as if they would last forever, but in hindsight they seemed to have flew by. They were times of great stress, but also of great love, happiness and freedom. With Wallace by my side I was able to learn more about myself in two months than I had in seventeen years. However, as the reality of the term almost being over, having to go back to life in Avonlea, and the vast amount of attention required by my studies, the happiness of the previous two months became replace by a mix of bitter frustrations and disappointments.

Inwardly, in my head, I knew my relationship with Wallace would not last long. But oh how my heart wanted it to last. Or perhaps it would be less poetic to say I knew that because of my commitments to the children, I would not be able to continue stepping out with Wallace after I would go back to Avonlea. Before we talked about it, I had been worrying for weeks about what I would say to him. How I could end our relationship without hurting him. I have never been particularly known for my tact, but I was going to soften the blow as much a possible on that late November day.

LIke many of the days of late autumn, this one was cold, almost winter crisp, with a grey sky, which wa light, but with no apparent sun. I was in the room I shared with Anne, alone, as she and Norbert had gone to the library to study. Wallace was to pick me up that day, I was taking a day off from school work and Wallace and I were to attend a lecture, the topic of which I still have no recollection of. As we had done for the past couple months, I was to wait in the common area for Wallace, and be ready to leave when he arrived - as he was not allowed inside the dormitory. Like I had many times previous I had finished getting ready for our date five minutes before Wallace was suppose to arrive. I was putting my hat on, checking my reflection in the mirror, making sure I looked perfect when the door swung open with such force that I was almost knocked over.

At first I couldn't imagine what kind of deranged person would do something like that, as the idiot stepped into the room I could see it was Anne, but not just, Norbert was with her.

"Anne what are you thinking, bringing Norbert in here. Matron is going to skin you alive if she finds him in here."

"Hetty..." she began, but I was annoyed.

"And then after that she won't let either of us out until term is over. Can you think how horrid that would be. You wouldn't be allowed to see Norbert, and I wouldn't see Wallace..."

"But Hetty, ... "This time Norbert started speaking, he looked odd, in fact they both were looking rather peculiar, but I was on a roll by now, and nothing would stop me.

"Speaking of Wallace he should be here any moment to pick me up. I'm leaving now, before Matron comes in and we both get into trouble." As I went to go out the door to the hallway Anne grabbed my hand. "Anne let go, you're acting like a child! Goodness my sisters are both better behaved than that." I opened the door, however, instead of walking through to the hallway I found my pathway blocked off by the infamous Matron Taylor. Shorter than I by several inches, she was none the less an imposing figure, if not in stature, than in presence and personality. And, as the old adage goes, in that moment I knew my goose had been cooked.

"I'm so very sorry Henrietta." And that's when she did it, Matron Taylor reached out and hugged me, and besides that she had tears in her eyes.

How strange I thought as I was released for her embrace. As I looked back at Anne and Norbert, my original anger subsiding, replaced by confusion, I saw that they too held tears in their eyes. I had seen looks like that before, when my mother...

"I need to go..." I nearly shoved poor Matron out of the way as I strode down the hallway "Wallace is coming for me soon..."

"Hetty" Anne yelled down the hallway.

"Later Anne, later." I was petrified. There faces, the tears, those only meant one thing, the one thing I could never face. I walked even quicker down the hallway, hoping to drown out, what I knew was coming next

"He's dead, Hetty."

I dropped to the ground instantly, much like a new child learning to walk. "No." I tried to sound resolute in my answer, confident that he was fine, but it came out like a whisper. From behind he I could hear Anne rush up to me and throw her arms around me. I don't remember much beyond that moment. later in a letters Anne and I exchanged between each other she mentioned almost primal wailing and sobbing. From that moment on college went by like a blur. True, we had only been stepping out for two months, but Wallace knew things about me that I had never dared share with anyone before, things I would never share with anyone.

With Wallace I had finally been able to open-up in ways I hadn't been able to since mother had died. After his death and the following funeral, neither Anne nor Norbert ever mentioned Wallace again, it was easier pretending that he had just stopped coming around than to face the real truth. It was in that time that I stopped paying true and full attention to my school work. I still wanted to teach, but it was hard to care about much of everything when your heart has broken. I no longer cared about the golden medal, but instead let my memories wreak havoc on me. No matter where I went or what I was doing it seemed as if his face, his voice, his laughter followed me everywhere.

In the end I knew that there was only one place that I could go to truly be free of Wallace. Somewhere his warmth and love had never touched. I needed to go home to my father, my siblings, my home and the life I was comfortable with, the life I knew. In Avonlea my life was already predetermined, there were no shocks or heartbreaks there. I knew within my little town I could lock myself away from the rest of the world and never have to hear about Wallace again. The place that I had begun to think of as my prison would turn into my sanctuary.

It has been over twenty years now, and this is the first time I have ever really spoken of Wallace. However not a day goes by when I don't think of him. However, before I could go home to Avonlea I first had to make it through graduation and a reunion with four children who had begun to believe that I had abandoned them. It was never the same, again.

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><p>AN - Are you crying? I know I am. 3's - V


	8. December 1876

Chapter 7

Hetty King, December 1876, Aged 17

Outside of getting married and having children - neither of which I have done - they say graduation day is suppose to be one of the happiest days in a person's life. It is that day when you say goodbye to school learning, and the stresses that go with it, and instead begin your path as a life learner. Countless times I have encountered people who consider their graduation day as the pinnacle of their academic career, a day when your own achievements are joyously celebrated in front of those who know and love you best. Those people who were so happy at their graduations often assume that my own graduation was a day of similar joy, when I was able to take my love of education and teaching to a higher echelon of education.

"You've changed Hetty."

Unfortunately those who assume are often wrong. The above sentence was the first thing my oldest brother Alec said to me, when my family arrived to my graduation. At thirteen years old Alec had the beginnings of a true gentlemen, but still retained much of his boyish charms. Although he was young, Alec always had the greatest capabilities of reading people. And, although he had no clue of what had happened, I had yet to say one one and he already knew what I was trying to hide. The only question was how much did he know, how much had I accidentally given away to him. As he went to hug me I stuck out my hand, he was a young man now, young men don't go around hugging there sisters, they kiss there sisters hand, or shake it, as a proper gentleman would.

My next youngest sibling was Roger. At eight years old he was growing like a weed, both upwards and outwards, with my father home to work on the farm something told me that Roger had had a bit of free time on his hands and did not pursue anything outside his book collection. I would have to peak his interest in something, and do so quickly, so he would not turn into such a lump. Perhaps I could interest him in something like geology, I thought, he certainly had the aptitude for it. "You stopped writing." he said in a tone that was half angry and half sulky.

"I made you something" said five year old Ruth as she handed me a card. On bright white paper it had a Ruth drawn picture of something that looked somewhat like a human in a graduation gown. "It's you Hetty."

"So I can see." I tried my best to give her a smile "you've done a wonderful job, your drawing has improved immensely." Even though I felt a though I could cry at any moment, Ruths smile made me happy, and helped me forget the pain, if just for a brief moment.

Several months ago I had begun running what would happen on this day in my mind. As I imagined it I would not only being seeing my beloved family for the first time since August, but I also thought I would be introducing them to the man I had fallen in love with. And while I had been planning on breaking things off with him, it seemed like fate decided to spare me that trouble, but instead thought to break my heart. Not a month earlier the man I had loved; Wallace Duncan, had been struck by an errant cart and horse driven by a man lacking in strong moral character. Now here I was the day that I had dreamed of for so long, looked to with great expectations, and I wanted nothing more than to run off, hide myself away and cry.

The only problem was that I couldn't. As of that day I was an adult, an adult who would soon be working, and back in her place taking care of the children and the farmhouse. While I wanted to linger in grief and run away from the world, the world had now come back to me, whether I wanted it or not. I had kept Wallace a secret from my family, as well as friends, in Avonlea. The only people who knew about Wallace were those who I went to school with, and one Avonlea girl who I had attended school here with.

The girls name was Muriel Stacey, a seemingly nice girl, Muriel, in my opinion, tended to put airs upon herself, and no more so then when she learned that she had one the gold medal for academic achievement for this term. Between my homesickness, unpreparedness and grief I had been very lucky to come second in our class, the silver medal winner. However, no one ever remembers those who came in second place. Instead of my achievements mattering, all of Avonlea focused there attentions on the gold medal Muriel. But, that is for another story, one I may tell later.

That graduation day was hard for me for a number of reasons, not only the ones I have previously mentioned, but also for the fact that I had been gone from my siblings for almost five months. In those five months I had been particularly bad at writing letters, sending news or even acknowledging their presence. Because of this, and with all the reason in the world, all except Ruth seemed angry, or upset with me, and no more so than my youngest baby sister, Olivia.

At four years old, Olivia had turned out to be more like a daughter to me than a sister. Yet, five months ago I just up and left her. Of course I tried my hardest to explain what was happening and where I was going. However, she never really fully understood. Instead of being able to run to my bed when she had a nightmare, and being able to sleep with me at night, Olivia had to run to either Alec, Roger or Ruth, none of whom were really good at soothing the young girl who has so easily prone to excitement. As she told me several years later, with my leaving Olivia felt very much alone in the world. I, the one person who had been constant and loving was gone from her life, and while there were others who loved her, none shared such as bond as we did. Now, after five months Olivia was highly wary of me. When I went to hold her she swatted my hand away and gave me a look that suggested that if I try to touch her again she would scream.

Thankfully there was one person who didn't hate me. "Hetty, look at you, you must have grown an inch since I've seen you last, and even prettier than ever." My father, for all his sweet compliments and kind word was lying through his teeth. But, I have never been one to turn down a compliment.

Knowing it would soon be time for the ceremony to begin I went and helped my family to find a place to sit. As they took their seats each of my siblings - even little Olivia - gave me a quick hug and quick words of advice. I shall share them in the order that they were given (Alec, Roger, Ruth and Olivia).

"Whatever happened, you don't deserve any sadness today" Alec whispered in my ear. He covered up his original piece of advice by saying, quite loudly, "Remember to smile"

"Will you wave to me? I'm going to wave to you even if you won't" Roger smiled, but he still hadn't quite got over my writing snub.

"You look like a princess. Princesses use their manners." Before I had left for college I had been giving Ruth a hard time about her manners, it seemed that maybe my lessons had began to sink in, not in the most traditional way, but at least she was learning.

I honestly didn't expect Olivia to hug me, especially after her mini outburst, albeit silent, earlier. However, when it was her turn she lifted her arms up, meaning she wanted me to pick her up, so I did. As I held her she hugged my neck "I wuv you Hebby." she whispered "don't fawl down" she smiled as she pulled back. As she looked me in the eyes I saw something that almost left me dumbstruck, something I had never previously noticed. At four years old my sister had my mothers eyes. Looking at her was like looking at mother all over again, and they made me calm.

As I handed her back to our father I pressed my forehead against hers which made her giggle silently. My father didn't offer any advice or hugs, but he did give one of his special smiles, the ones I had only ever seen him give to mother. It was then I realized that while I may have been hurting, my family was always there for me, and as I walked towards the other graduates I offered a silent promise to both god and my mother that for as long as I lived I would always be there for my family, no matter what.

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><p>AN - So, how are you liking it ( or not). What would you like to see more or less of? Tell me what you think in a review (I can't make things better without constructive criticism). Love - V :)


	9. April 1877

Chapter 8

Hetty King, April 1877, Aged 17

"Children, there is something I'd like to discuss with all of you. These were the words that started it all, started what would be my path for many years to come. However, at the time no one could have guessed what would lead from them.

It was beautiful April morning, all of us were gathered around the table, eating our breakfasts before we went about our daily lives. Since graduating and coming back home I had found myself with little to do. While a short year ago I would have been planning my application for the Avonlea school board, Miss Wigins had decided to delay her retirement by a year, leaving me with little to do, except wait until the next year.

With all the children in school, except Olivia, I had been often finding myself at my wits end of boredom. That is to say, although she was a dear child with a lovely disposition there was only so much time I could spend with my four year old sister without yearning for some company for my own age. That is why, on that day, Olivia and I were both dressed in our visiting clothes as we were going to be paying a visit to an old school mate of mine, and often a watcher of the children, Miss Irene Steamer.

To say Miss Steamers' help allowed me to continue schooling would be a near understatement, and without Irene I would have not been able to continue regular grammar school, never mind higher learning. Since I could never truly repay her - and because I was going slowly stir-crazy - I often would get Olivia dressed and go pay visits to Irene and her mother. Now of course I was never one for gossip, so most often when we went to visit it was to help Irene and Mrs. Steamer with jobs in and around the house. Today I was going to help Irene do some spring cleaning, while Mrs. Steamer was going to help Olivia with her needlework.

However, before we could go about whatever our days plans were, we all listened to father. " I have been thinking of something for quite a while now children, and I'd like your opinion on it." We must have looked a highly skeptical audience, or perhaps highly fearful, for her added with a smile "Oh don't worry, it's nothing serious, and everybody is in good health. Smile for goodness sakes, it won't break your faces."

I put as much as a smile as I could muster on. Looking around the table I raised my eyebrow at Roger as he continued to look sullen. Thankfully he saw my look and immediately both sat up straighter and smiled, it was good to see he still listen to me - sometimes.

"As you all know it's been about four since your mother died." Well, there went the smiling portion of that conversation. "And while Hetty has been doing a bang up job taking care of everyone, you children still need a mother." He was really on a winning streak then, evidence by the fact that both Alec and Roger were making fists under the table. "I know this might be hard for you all to accept, or to think about right now, and you don't have to immediately tell me what you think, but I would like to hear your opinions..."

Nearly fourteen, and the eldest of my siblings, Alec rose up quicker than a flash of lightning. "You want to know what I think? I think this is ridiculous, everything is fine, we don't need a mother ..."

"We've got Hetty." Ruth piped in.

Alec continued on, giving Ruth a brief smile, "exactly, and if Hetty wants to leave someday, then things will be different." His voice was getting angrier by the second, as the things he had been holding back spilled out in a fashion most unlike my brother. "You say you want family approval but you don't care, you haven't cared since mother died. You left us alone, and Hetty was left to raise us. You've come back and now you're pretending that you're father of the year or something. Well, it just isn't fair."

As Alec barged out the back door I half expected my father to run after him, but instead he looked as if nothing had happened.

"Ruth, can you watch Olivia for a moment?" I asked as I followed Alec, asking, but not waiting for her to respond. As I ran after Alec I had no earthly clue as to what I should say to him. Honestly I was not thrilled of fathers grand idea, but I learned long ago with father, no one could change him. It was a mixture of King pride and plain bullheadedness that made him that way, but faults and all, all anyone could really do was accept him and love him inspite of his faults.

In all the commotion I had failed to see exactly where Alec had run off to, but I had a very good guess.

"Are you in here?" I queried as I opened the door to the barn. A verbal response was never given, but I could hear my brother at the other end of the barn, pitching hay into the cow stalls. I couldn't be quite sure but I thought I even heard him cry. The crying, like most things about Alec, was soft and quiet, but I had been raising him for four years now, and I had been his sister for many years previous to that. I knew, but I didn't draw attention to it. Instead I sat on one of the bales of hay several stalls away, near the goats. Far enough away so he did not think me an invader of his personal space, but close enough so my concern was apparent, and my ears available.

How long we sat like that, I don't really know, as we both seemed to lose track. I do know it was long enough for it to be time for the children to go to school, as Olivia walked in, climbing into my lap. As I moved her from my lap to the other side of me on the hay bale, Alec finally spoke "I'm not going to school today."

"I wished you'd reconsider that choice but, I'm not going to force you."

"How could he say things like that? We needed a new mother! We don't need any mother, we have a mother, and though she's gone, in spirit she's all around us." Alec stopped haying and looked at me with a look that could break your heart "How does he miss all of that Hetty."

"He's lonely."

"But he has us."

"People need more than just children."

"I suppose." I wondered if he was calmer now, if I could go with Olivia, or if I should stay with him. Alec had gone back to pitching hay, but it was slower now, as if he were thinking over something. "I feel like he's forgetting mother."

"Pardon?"

"But courting someone else, it's like he's forgotten mother, and everything else he had with her. And I'm ... I'm afraid. What if we like whomever he's courting? What if we begin to forget mother too?"

"Oh Alec!" I sighed as I walked over to him. And, for the first time in a very long time I gave him a hug. "You'll never forget mother, you yourself said that she is all around us. A mother is something you never forget, especially our mother."

"You think so?"

"I do. And I do not think that father has forgotten mother. If anything he is trying to help me in fulfilling my promise to her, by trying to find someone who can run the house if something happens to me, or if I ever get married. He's lonely Alec. Just like you and I, and everyone misses mother, so does father. She was so much his entire world, I don't know if you remember it, but she was. Without her, he doesn't know what to do. In the next ten or fifteen life is going to be hard for him, we'll all be getting married and leaving, and he'll be alone again. Maybe if he finds someone he won't ever have to be alone again."

"Sister!" I looked down at Olivia, who was smiling very proud of herself. As I picked her up she laughed. "Olivia Jane, you have two sisters." Looking quite innocent she simply said "baby" and it all made sense, she didn't truly want a sister, but a living baby doll. However, I doubted there was much of a chance that either would happen.

"Well Miss Olivia, let's go grab your needlework and your coat and we'll get going."

"You can come along with us if you'd like Alec, give you a chance for some fresh air."

"Where are you going?"

"Irenes'. We'll be doing spring cleaning and we could sure use whatever help you can give. It'll get you out of this stuffy barn."

Alec looked up at me and smiled. "I think I could manage a bit of cleaning." However as he finished his statement the smile vanished from his face. Turning around I saw my father standing between two frames of the barn, only about fifty feet away from us. This was his way of saying he wanted to talk, even if his request lacked the one thing he was hoping it would achieve.

I reached out and grabbed Alecs' hand "I'm going to take Olivia and grab our coats and work shoes. Then we can get going. We'll wait for you outside." He nodded, by I could see the anger that he held in his eyes. "Hear him out Alec, remember what I said, remember he's a human too. We all have secrets, and no matter how much you think you know someone, there is always one thing you don't know, and it's usually that one thing that is most influential in shaping a body. Give him a chance."

As I walked past father, Olivia in tow, he looked at him, screwed up her face and stick out her tongue. However while father no longer seemed to care, instead focussing on Alec, I made sure to reprimand my youngest sibling all the way back to the house.

I never asked Alec what he and father talked about, or what happened in those five minutes we were gone. However, by the time I had collected everything, checked the house over and got Olivia and myself outside, Alec was ready to leave, but in a much more positive and agreeable mood than earlier.

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"Oh Hetty I am glad to see you here!" Exclaimed Irene as we reached her porch. I do not think she saw Alec at first as she immediately looked a little shocked and smiled "Alec! I didn't know you were coming." As we walked up the porch stairs she said "It's good to see you, I've got lots of work that a young man like you could really help me with.

After that the look on Alecs' face was purely ridiculous, a dopey sort of look that I had seen many men give to Irene, but only one man gave it to me. With her raven black hair and bright blue eyes, Irene Steamer was still unmarried and living at home, with many of the local gossips wondering what could possibly be wrong with her, for she was so beautiful that is a true conundrum as to why she was not yet married. And, like many other men, both old and young, my oldest brother was quite enamoured with her. Thankfully Irene didn't make anything of it, and we all went in to work on our appointed tasks.

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That night, after dinner father asked again if we could talk about his courting someone. In his mannerisms Roger still seemed very angry about the whole ordeal, but none the less spoke in favor of the idea, leading me to wonder if Alec had, had a talk with him. Neither Ruth nor Olivia put objections to the idea, there memories of mother were very faint, they both being so young when she passed away. Alec asked father if he had any one in mind that he wanted to court.

"I do in fact, I've talked to her about it even, but she told me that before she would think of courting me, she wanted me to talk to you and get your permissions."

"Maybe, ... " I began "If we knew her the lady was you were interested in we could give you our more honest opinions, be better able to tell you how we feel." To that idea the children all nodded.

"I think you're right Hetty-Beth. And, before I tell you all who she is, I want you to know I've put a great deal of thought into this decision. I picked someone who I not only fancy, but also someone who I think could help Hetty in running the house, should she ever need it..."

"Just tell us already." an agitated Roger sighed from his place on the red couch in our parlor.

"Roger!" I shot him a warning glance, which thankfully still had power in it, as he immediately corrected his behavior.

"Yes, of course, I'm prattling on, aren't I? But, I'm nervous, you crew of Kings you're something. The girl who I'd like to court is Irene Steamer..."

I didn't listen to anything he said beyond that. Irene Steamer was only two years older than I. We had gone to school together. My father was near fifty, abut Irene said that she would court him? What could she be thinking? It isn't that she lacked any beauty, so why would she agree to court my father? Looking around to my sibling I could see that they had many of the same questions written on there faces. In fact the only one who seemed especially pleased about the whole thing was Olivia who was beaming. Now, that isn't to say any one looked especially angry, or mad, but they, as well as I had looks of complete puzzlement on there faces.

"Hetty?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you have anything to say?"

Did I have anything to say, oh I had several things I would have liked to say. I honestly thought the idea was both ridiculous and disgusting - what young girl in her right mind would want to court a man like my father. As much as I wanted to voice disapproval, I knew I couldn't. Despite simply being there sister, the time I had spent raising the children gave me quite a bit of sway. If I were to voice disapproval than that, in theory, would allow the children to do so as well, and we had already seen where that could lead. No, I had to show support, someone did.

"It is a bit surprising, you are both so different in ages. However, if it will make you happy, what can I say. I think it is agreeable that you court Irene. I mean Miss Steamer."

Following my lead the children nodded their heads, uttering similar sentiments. It seemed wrong for me to lie, but with the age differences I doubted the relationship would ever last.

How wrong I was.

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><p>AN - Can you believe, my longest chapter to date! Hope you enjoyed - V


	10. August 1878

Chapter 8

Hetty King, August 1878, Aged 19

"Hetty King. We are ready for you now." Said Emily Potts from the doorway of the schoolhouse.

Today was the final interviews for the position of Avonlea's new school teacher. The competition had been particularly fierce, with only two of us left in the running. Normally going up against another person, as qualified as I was, would have made me even more confident. But, today my competition was Muriel Stacey.

Muriel and I had gone to college together, with Muriel winning the gold graduation medal. Winning the silver medal I was not jealous of Muriel in any way, however, I did not want to lose out to her. Although we never ran in the same circles, Muriel was the only connection I still had to Wallace, the only reminder of my times at college and the pain that came because of it. In some ways I saw Muriel as the physical embodiment of my pain, she never did anything malicious towards me, but I saw her and every time was reminded of the pain, eventually I associated her with my pain, as she succeeded so to did my pain. I knew I had to win the position.

As I entered the school room that I had been in hundreds of times before, I could see nothing had really changed, even with Miss Wigins departure. Yet, even in these familiar surroundings I felt strange, and small, which was exacerbated by the fact that sitting in front of me were three of the adults that I knew were the most disagreeable in Avonlea.

Thankfully out of all of them, Doctor Carter was the one in charge, perhaps the most pleasant out of the three.

"As you are aware Miss King Avonlea is in need of a good teacher for our children. After many rounds of interviews, the only two candidates left are you and Miss Stacey. The order we have called you in is no indication of your standing or anything else, but simply was alphabetical order. For this last interview we have only a few questions. Firstly, you graduated from teachers college in...?"

"I graduated from the Prince Edward Island Normal School in 1876, when I was 17." I answered his question, but couldn't understand why he had asked it. I was asked this question before, at my first interview, I did not see any need for it to be asked again. Perhaps they were making sure of things, make sure I wasn't lying.

"And in what place of your class did you graduate?" Emily Potts asked with near venom in her voice.

So, that was what they were after, a point they already knew, but one they wanted me to repeat. If that was there point it didn't surprise me that Emily Potts was doing the questioning, I had gone to school with her son Bert and her new daughter-in-law Clara. Clara always had a vicious tongue, which matched her mother-in-law very nicely. "Second place, Mrs. Potts."

Dale Chase then looked at me with something akin to pity, in fact all three of them looked at me with similar piteous expressions. However, it was Mr. Chases' turn to talk. "Miss King, as you know Miss Stacey, who has also applied for the position, received the gold medal that same year. Now, is there any reason you would like us to know about, why you came in second to Miss Stacey, any faults that may hinder your success in a teaching career?"

I knew then that I had lost the job, I wondered if it would even be worth it for me to answer the question. But, then again no King ever gave up when the going was tough.

" I do not know of any reasons Mr. Chase. I do know that Miss Stacey is a bit more progressive in her methods, while I am a bit more traditional, but other than that there is no real difference that I know of."

Looking at the three before me I could see they were disappointed. My answer was not exactly what they had expected. I stated the truth, plain and simple, I did not embellish anything or gossip. In short I bored them.

"Well, thank-you Miss King, if you would be so kind as to wait outside."

Walking out of that room with my head held high was one of the more difficult things I had to do in my teaching career. I knew I had lost, but I still had to maintain the dignity that my family was famous for. To act in any other way would be to betray the family name.

As I exited the building and walked towards Muriel Stacey in the schoolyard she looked up and smiled at me. "How'd it go in there?"

"Not the best. They asked me some purely useless questions, when they have already made up their minds."

"Have they?"

"Yes. Well, not officially. But, I could tell. I think you've got the job Muriel, you would have got it without the interview. "

"But why?"

"Why? Because you won the gold medal of course. They even asked me why I didn't win it."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing of interest. I said I didn't know of any real reason. The only difference between us is our methods of teaching"

"Well, that's true. I suppose. But I should never have won the medal, you should have come in first Hetty. You would have too, if you hadn't been so distracted and busy."

"Oh well, some lessons are best learned the hard way. Besides, with you here I might be able to get a job somewhere else."

"Oh Hetty! I'm sure you will! Besides, I won't be here forever, if I get the job that is, I'd go mad in one place for the rest of my life."

Talking to Muriel I was surprised at how genuinely open and friendly she seemed to be. I wondered if maybe this was the reason she was actually chosen.

"Miss Stacey, if you'd like to come in we're ready for you know." Emily Potts smiled as she called for Muriel. I don't think I had ever seen Emily Potts smile.

No, Muriel Stacey wasn't being given the job because she was friendly or open. She was getting to the job because she won that blasted gold medal. As long as she was here, I knew I would never win. Forever I would be stuck in the house, raising the children. I could never leave Avonlea, the house would fall apart. With father courting Irene Steamer, it seemed liked half of the house was overjoyed, and half were about to begin a rebellion. Even Ruth was beginning to show anger at father over his choice, perhaps for no other reason then that she wants to be an adult, like she thought that Alec and Roger were.

Either way the environment seemed so tense, I could never leave. No, I would have to stay in Avonlea, take care of the children, take care of the house. I promised I would, and although it had been five years, the children, except maybe Alec, were all still so young. If I left father alone with them it would not be fair for anyone. No, my place was in Avonlea, I may have dreamed of more in the years previous, but I could no more leave than go to the moon, every time I went outside Avonlea I was hurt, and I never wanted to be hurt again.

By the time Muriel came out of the school building I was in a right state. I tried to not let it show on the outside. That smile that calmed me 15 minutes ago, now infuriated me. Muriel Stacey with all her progressive ways and methods was going to get the job, she was going to have a life outside of the four walls of her home, and for that I resented her.

"So..." I ventured

"I don't know anything. They said they wanted to deliberate first. But I - "

Muriel never did get a chance to finish her sentiment as Mrs. Potts called us inside. Walking into the school building I no longer felt fear, but anger, especially with the smug faces of Mister Chase and Doctor Carter, with Mrs Potts joining them I saw three of the most despicable human beings to grace this earth, the looks on their faces showing the enjoyment that they got from being so.

"Now ladies" began Doctor Carter "As you know these past few days have been very difficult for all of us. The retirement of Miss Wigins left us with a very important position to fill. Luckily we had many qualified candidates, and at the end we were left with you two. Our job was not easy, but after careful deliberation we have decided that the one of you who will be taking over as schoolmistress of Avonlea is Miss Stacey."

Now of course this information was of no real surprise to me. I had expected it, and there it was. I was angry, but needed to maintain as much dignity and composure as possible. However, despite what I had already told her, Muriel Stacey looked as shocked as I had ever seen a body.

"Congratulations Muriel" I said a I patted her shoulder and walked out of the building. Walking out of that building I felt as lonely as I had in a long time. I didn't blame Muriel, clearly she didn't apply out of spite, that was just the way things went.

As I journeyed back to King farm I wondered just exactly how I would tell my family. I knew that the children had been very confident in me, with Ruth and Olivia even laying in bed with me last night and telling me so.

As much as I had ever complained about it, it was nice to still have the children want to come sleep with me once in a while. Alec, being almost an adult had tried to come in my room since was about 11, the year after mother died. Roger all but stopped after he found out I would be going away to teachers college. Now, Ruth was pulling away, she was so much younger than the others were when they stopped, I was thankful that she was still a little girl sometimes. Olivia, out of all of my siblings was the one I could always count on to sneak into my room in the middle of the night. Whether it was a bad nightmare, or because she was simply lonely and needed a cuddle, more nights than not she would crawl into my bed and there she would stay until it was time for me to wake-up.

Arriving at King farm I was greeted by two sights; a large congratulations banner - reused from my graduation - and veritable party with all my siblings, Irene and Mrs. Steamer. This was going to be harder than I thought.

Out of all the people, Ruth spotted me first. "Hetty!" she yelled as she ran towards me. As she reached me I threw open my arms and she jumped into them, much like Olivia usually did. "Did you get the job?"

"No, Muriel Stacey did."

"Rats! I wanted you for a teacher."

"Well, even though I'm not your teacher at school I can always teach you things around the farm. Maybe soon I'll teach you to make biscuits like you're always asking me too. How does that sound?" Ruth didn't answer me, but instead laid her head on my shoulder and nuzzled her face into my neck.

I had to admit, it was odd seeing Ruth act this way, at seven years old she had been trying more and more to act like a little grown up, with sometimes disastrous results. As the other children reached me, and I broke the bad news, Alec said he had some bad news of his own, the cause for Ruths' sudden change in behavior. "One of the cows died while you were gone. Ruth found it when she went to go and milk it."

In raising the children I tried to not baby them, it did not make for productive members of society. However, as Alec told me the news I couldn't help but begin bouncing Ruth up and down as if she were an infant who was upset. I wondered how Ruth would react to that, but she said nothing and only nuzzled into my neck further.

"We're still having a party for you, even though you didn't get the job." Roger said. I knew he was trying to be nice, it just didn't fully seem like it. "I'll go tell father and Irene to grab the cake and ice cream."

"Ice cream?" I asked incredulously

"Yes!" Olivia said "We all made it for you."

"That's why Ruth went into the barn." Alec finished.

I wanted to say something to the seven year old, to cheer her up, but nothing seemed like it would fit exactly. So, instead I kept her in my arms and walked over to the chairs and table that they had all set up. Knowing full well that I shouldn't I kept Ruth in my arms, and, when I went to sit down, held her in my lap.

As father and Irene, along with Mrs. Steamer, came out of the house, I had to admit that she did make him very happy. It was odd to see someone with my father, but if it ever had to be anyone besides my mother, I would pick Irene every time. Looking at Roger, I could see I would still have a long way to go, in convincing him of Irene, but I knew I would get there eventually.

"It's never going to happen" Said Alec, who sat next to me, as he read my thoughts.

"Who knows," I said "I was the one who convinced him he might like to start a rock collection, and we see how well that's working out.

Alex smiled at me. "Well, if anyone can do it, it will be you."

"You can do anything." Said Ruth from my arms. And, while earlier I felt as though I couldn't do anything right, at the moment I could see the one thing that I was doing right."


	11. March 1879 - Part I

Chapter 10

Hetty King, March 1879, Age 19

"Hetty! Hetty! Can I have some water please?" Ruths' voice from upstairs was as loud as possible, but strained with weakness. The swirling snow outside paired with the absolutely grey sky seemed to match Ruths mood, and wasn't making mine any more positive. Ruth had recently taken sick, nothing more than a fever, I thought, but I've gotten a bit ahead of myself in telling the story. To hear it proper we must go back to the beginning.

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It was a rather gray and misty day in February when we had all found out about the big inside fair in Charlottetown. An event about the future, it billed itself as perfect for the whole family. At the time I was in town with Irene Steamer, the woman courting my father, as well as my brother Alec who had driven us in the carriage.

We had been buying supplies for Olivia's birthday, which was the next day. As we exited the general store, Alec was standing by the announcement board, looking as if it said that tomorrow was Christmas.

"Hetty, Irene, come look at this!" I don't think I had heard Alec sound so excited in many years. "Can we go?" he asked even before I could get to read the announcement. As I read it said that this fair would be held in a months time in Charlottetown, they billed it as 'A Window to Your Future', whatever that was suppose to mean, I didn't know. But, I did know that Alec and Irene were excited, as they talked about nothing else for the whole return trip to King Farm.

When we returned back to King Farm neither Irene or Alec could talk of anything besides the "fair of the future".

"You know-" my father said "I think this fair is just the ticket for us, we're a modern family, looking towards the future. Who knows, maybe we can find some things that might help on the farm." And so it was settled, in a months time we would go to the "fair of the future" in Charlottetown.

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In the nearly two years since she had been courting our father, Irene spent most of her time at our home, especially since the death of her mother the previous November. To everyone, except the possibility of Roger, she really was like a member of the family. Even with our previous misgivings about her and the relationship, we were now all quite preoccupied with seeing our father marry Irene. That is why that night, like many in both the past and future, Irene was helping me make dinner when father came in.

"Hello you two, what delicious treats do you have planned for tonight?"

"I've just been helping Hetty here and there, she's the real mastermind behind dinner."

"Is she? Now what do you have planned for tonight, Hetty Beth?"

"Nothing fancy, just shepherds' pie."

" Shepherds' pie? Shepherds' pie? Don't you know how I feel about shepherds' pie?" He sounded angry, but I couldn't understand why.

"No, I thought you liked it." I felt like a naughty child saying this, like one who had ruined everything, but had yet to realize it. Father had been so kindly and soft since he had been courting Irene, perhaps something had gone wrong that day.

"Like it, I don't like it..." Irene and I both had a sharp intake of breath, afraid of what he would say next. He no longer could contain himself, the anger on his face was instantly replaced by a smile, as he laughingly said "I absolutely love it. Especially when you make it Hetty Beth."

I would have breathed a sigh of relief in that moment, but was not able to as Father picked me up by my waist and twirled me around, much like he use to do when I was a little girl. Now, normally I would have found that embarrassing, I being a grown woman, I should be too old for things like that, but the fact that he wasn't angry made me happy, and I thought not to complain.

"Hetty you look like a little girl" Ruth laughed from somewhere in the room. As father put me down I could see Ruth was already seated at the table as were the rest of the children.

"Oh goodness you crew, dinner isn't near ready yet. So, you'll just have to occupy yourselves for a bit longer. Maybe you could all finish packing like I asked you to this morning? " Quite expectedly this was met by the groans and mumbling complaints of the children. With all of them gone I turned on my father and Irene, he seemed to be telling her something about work that day as they both realized I was looking at them. "When I said crew I meant you two as well. Now go on. Get!" I said shooing them away. "Enjoy yourselves." I smiled as they walked away. With both Irene and father coming to the fair of the future with us tomorrow, I knew it would be a while until they got to spend some time on there own again.

Turning around I was surprised to still see Ruth at the table. "And what are you doing here?" I asked her.

Even though I had told everyone to leave I was not going to kick Ruth out of the kitchen, as she had seemed so sad lately, starting about the time that cow had died. And even this past week she had seemed even more sad and sullen than before. As her eldest sister and sibling, I just wanted her to have a little bit of happiness. If that cow wasn't already dead I would have killed him, just for making her so upset.

"I don't feel well." Ruth nearly whispered. Looking at her more closely I noticed she did not look well at all, and upon feeling her head I realized that she was running a temperature.

"Oh my goodness. Well, a kitchens no place for a sick girl, you go up stairs and get in bed, and I'll come up and bring you up some dinner in a little while."

Getting up from the table, she began her way up the back stairs, but before reaching the third one she turned around. "Will you take me upstairs."

I tried not to roll my eyes, I knew she didn't feel well, but I had dinner to finish making. However, as I saw the sadness in her eyes, relented. "Stay there for a moment." I said, kissing her forehead. It felt like it was even warmer than before. I took a shawl off one of the chairs and put it around her "I'll be right back."

Upon leaving the kitchen and entering the hallway I realized I had no clue where anyone was. "Irene!" I shouted, which was rather unladylike, but needed to be done. Thankfully, Irene was just in the parlor, and within a few seconds she appeared before me. "Is something the matter Hetty?"

"No...Well yes. Ruth doesn't feel very well-..."

"Poor dear!"

"Yes, well I want to go to bed, but she won't do so unless I go with her. Would you mind keeping an eye on dinner while I take her upstairs and get her settled in?"

"Of course I don't mind. Let me just tell Heziah, maybe he can even help."

"There isn't much that needs to be done, just pull the biscuits out of the oven in about five minutes, and ten minutes for the shepherds pie."

"Of course Hetty" she mumbled as she walked back into the parlor leaving me wondering if she had heard anything I had said. 'Oh well' I thought ' if she ruins dinner it will be on her own head.' But, at the moment my worry was for Ruth.

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"I'm sorry Hetty." Ruth was laying in my bed, while I sat beside her, with the covers drawn up around her chin, she looked every inch the sickly child, with her pale skin looking nearly translucent, almost blue even by candlelight.

"What for?"

"For getting so sick so quickly, and being so troublesome." At first I thought that she had to be joking, none of this was her fault, if anything I was at fault for not realizing she was ill sooner.

"Oh Ruth, it isn't your fault that you're sick. None of that matters, now what is really important is getting you all better." I gave her my best, and most reassuring, smile. "So tonight you'll get lots of sleep, and we'll see what everything is like in the morning.

Getting Ruth ready and into bed turned out to be a more difficult process than I expected. As I led her upstairs to her own room I realized that she shared a room with Olivia, and, with Ruth sick, and perhaps contagious I would be endangering Olivia's health. So, instead of endangering Olivia, I brought Ruth in my room for the night, where she could sleep with me, and I could be right there if something went wrong.

"Am I going to miss the fair?"

"I'm afraid so sunshine, I'm sorry."

"Are you going to miss the fair?"

"Yes, I will, I'm going to stay here and take care of you, but I don't mind, one day we'll be in the future, and we will not need a fair to show us what is going on."

"Are the others staying behind?"

"Now, don't you worry about the others."

"Hetty... do they have to miss the fair because of me?" At almost eight, Ruth was quickly becoming very dramatic, which really could be a bit of a challenge with the sadness she had been feeling. Sometimes I swore that Roger was behind her newly found dramatic flair, but there was nothing I could really do about it.

"No, everyone will be going to the fair tomorrow. Irene and father included. Alec said he is going to try and get us brochures and information that they are going to pass out. But don't you worry about Alec or Roger or Olivia or any of them, we're going to focus on getting you all better."

"Hetty, what do you think the future will be like?"

"I don't know if I could really say. I would think it would be a lot like now. Why? What do you the future will be like."

"Very exciting! Just think Hetty one day it will not longer be the 1800s, it will be the 1900s, the 20th Century. Miss Stacey says people are lucky to see the beginning of a new century, she said it's like magic. What are you going to do in 1900?"

"Ruth, the year 1900 is 21 years away." I wanted to say something about Muriel Stacey, filling childrens heads with ideas of magic, and especially about a new century. She was the same age as me, born in 1859, what did she know of new centuries. However, arguing with poor Ruth would not make her feel any better, and could exacerbate her condition, so instead I humoured her. "I think in 1900 I will be here in Avonlea, maybe even teaching school. I know I will be looking after generations of Kings. Who knows, maybe by then I will even have traveled around the world. What about you sunshine, what will you be doing in 1900?

"In 1900 I will be a grand lady of society, with beautiful, long hair that reaches the floor. I'm going to be married to a handsome man with a moustache -"

"A moustache?"

"Don't interrupt Hetty! I'm not done yet."

"Oh, sorry, continue"

"Where was I ..."

"Man with a moustache."

The child gave me a look that would make milk curdle, I hoped this dramatic flair would not last long. "I will marry a man with a moustache, and we will have a beautiful daughter and lots of fancy servants. I will be famous and everyone around the world will love me as I visit them all."

"Oh Ruth!" I sighed "You don't want to be dragged around the world, there are dangerous diseases out there, you never know what you can catch out in the world." Fearing a return of her dramatics I continued "Are you only going to have one child?"

"Yes. I already know what I'm going to name her too."

"What?"

"Sara, like the princess in my storybook. Do you like it?"

"Oh yes, I think Sara is a very pretty name, and if she's anything like you then she'll be very beautiful."

As I got myself into bed and laid down, so to did Ruth, who had been asleep until I had come upstairs about twenty minutes ago. I did not really know what time it was, but I knew it was late. I normally would have gone to bed much earlier, but instead I had been finishing up packing along with help from Irene who was going to spending the night in Olivias room that night.

Laying there in that bed I could feel the heat radiate of my younger sister. "Hetty, I'm cold." she nearly cried. How on earth could she possibly be cold, I wondered. But, instead of ask I opened my arms and she cuddled in them. Even though she was nearly eight, in my arms Ruth seemed so much smaller, like she was truly a little child again. Falling asleep that night I remember being both worried about Ruth and trying to convince myself that nothing was truly wrong with her.

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_Knock Knock _

"Who is it?" In my first moments of consciousness I wondered what the time could possibly be. Usually waking up at five am, I couldn't really believe any of the children were up early, which meant someone, possibly Olivia, had a nightmare. But, then again, Olivia never really bothered much with knocking before she came in.

"It's just me Hetty-Beth, wanted you to know that we were leaving."

"Leaving? So early?" I finally opened my eyes, wondering if my father had gone mad. Instead of confirming my fears, it confirmed one thing. "Early, it's nearly nine o'clock, you two slept in. Irene said you were up packing with her half the night, so to let you sleep in today, but I had to tell you we were going, so's that you wouldn't worry about us."

"Oh, um, thank-you, I do appreciate, you all have a good time at the fair. Bring us back lots of souvenirs." Ruth was beginning to stir in my arms, to be honest I didn't want her to wake up just yet, I didn't want her to feel overly upset when everybody left.

"How is the little patient feeling?"

With a question directed at her, Ruth was now awake, and answering "better papa, still sleepy, but better."

"That's my good girl. That's what we wanted to hear. Now we're going to miss you two very much while we're gone."

"We'll miss you too Papa" Ruth answered for the both of us. It may have been my eyes decieving me, but as she spoke I thought she looked worse than she had the previous night, but I didn't say anything. She wouldn't want to ruin everyone trip to the fair."

"Goodbye my lasses, see you in a couple days."

Father rapped on my door for good measure, and as we heard him go down the stairs Ruth looked at me "I'm tired Hetty, can I go back to sleep now?"

"Would you like some breakfast first? Just a little bit, maybe some eggs or toast?"

"I suppose" she replied as she began coughing. I didn't like the sounds of it, but as I looked out the window, from my bed I could see that the family was already too far away for me to call back.

I have an idea, why don't you sleep a bit, while I go make breakfast, and I'll bring it up to you when it's done and we can have breakfast in bed. How does that sound?"

"Like I'm a princess." for a split second I could see my healthy, sunny Ruth, but after that second she was back to looking sickly, and had started coughing again.

"But first, I'll get you some water." I smiled and tucked her into bed, I handed her a handkerchief from my bedside table. "Here, you cough into this, I've heard princesses do the exact same thing." She looked up at me, smiled and was about to say something when she began to cough again.

Walking down the stairs to the kitchen I inwardly argued with myself as to whether or not to call the doctor. However, as I went back into my room, cup of water in my hands I noticed a red stain in Ruths' handkerchief - blood. She had fallen asleep in that short time, but even in her sleep she was beginning to cough, loud hoarse sounding coughs that were wracking her whole body.

I placed the water down as gently as possible with such fear running through my heart. As soon as I did I was out of the bedroom, and running outside to find Jake - our hired man to call for Doctor Carter immediately.

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I can never say that I particularly liked Doctor Carter, in fact often I found his disagreeable, however, on that day, whether it be his will or Jakes, he was in the house within twenty minutes. As much as I wanted to be in the room with my sister, I knew that I had to let the doctor do his job without me breathing down his neck. So, instead I paced around the kitchen, praying it wasn't bad news.

"Hetty" he began as he came downstairs, I would have called out, announcing my presence, but, since he used the back stairs he nearly ran into me.

"Is she okay? What's wrong with her?"

He looked at me, with that same look he gave me at the interview for school teacher. As he breathed deeply, I wondered just how serious this was.

"Hetty, it's Diphtheria."

"What?"

"Ruth has Diphtheria."

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><p>AN - Another two part story. Hope you are enjoying it! Thought we needed a bit more Ruth (as did my friend :) ). If you would be so kind you all know how I love reviews ;) I promise part two will be up tomorrow - I hate suspense. Love - V


	12. March 1879 - Part II

Chapter 10 - Part II

Hetty King, March 1879, Age 19

"As you know this is a very serious illness. She will need round the clock attention. In a way you're quite lucky that the rest of the family is gone, it greatly reduces their chances of getting it. You'll have to make sure to observe yourself as well, if you come down with it you will need bed rest immediately. You've gotten out of rougher scrapes than this, Hetty, remember when you had measles as a child, that was much worse. But, be careful, and if anything changes have Jake come get me. Until then you'll have to be under quarantine. I'll be back to check on her tomorrow morning... Hetty..." Doctor Carter waved his hand in front of my face, as if he thought I was in a trance "Can you hear me?"

"I do doctor, it is just a lot to take in at the moment." At that moment Ruth began coughing again "And that certainly does not calm the nerves."

"I understand. I will be sending word to your father as soon as I go back to town."

"And what will you tell him?"

"The truth, the child is quite sick, for he and Irene to make sure and be careful with the other children. I'll tell him the house is under quarantine, and when they come back to find somewhere else to stay, for safeties sake."

"Thank-you Doctor, I do appreciate it."

"Of course Miss King. I will show myself out." he said, hesitating for a moment I wondered if he wanted me to say something, if instead of showing himself out he wanted me in a sudden surge of hospitality to do so for him. "There is something else I must add..."

"Yes?"

"This illness is highly contagious. I know Ruth slept with you in your bed last night, however you must be careful not to hug or kiss her, it may allow the illness to spread. So, be careful in your interactions with Ruth."

"Of course doctor." Either way I really didn't care, what I should and should do to protect myself, I was much more interested in was getting Ruth better. She had always been a sensitive child, less than Roger, but still, I knew how important hugs were to her. And, I didn't really care what the doctor had to say about it. So, leaving the doctor in our kitchen I walked up the back stairs and into my room where Ruth was laying in my bed.

I had never really thought my bed particularly large, but as she lay in it, Ruth made the bed looks as if it were for a giant. The covers on top of her, bright and white, were nearly the same colour as her skin, which also had a blue tinge to it. The whole picture was not of a sick girl, but of a ghostly nearly translucent girl who was in a land of giants.

"Hetty?" she called me weakly from the bed. A fit of coughs following it.

In my head I could hear the advice from the doctor, not to touch Ruth too much, how it could spread to me. The coughing was probably the most dangerous for myself.

"Please." she asked pitifully, opening her arms, another torrent of coughs.

What could I do? Give Ruth the comforting she so desperately wanted, and run the risk of catching the illness. Or, should I just pat her on the head, smile and go busy myself with something else, ensuring I did not catch the illness.

I walked towards the bed, the closer I got the smaller Ruth looked. There was only one thing I could do.

"Move over sunshine, you've got to make room for the two of us in there." Doctor Carter be damned, what did I care? This was what Ruth needed, a environment with no affection would be the death of her. Even though I was not technically her mother, it was my duty to love her and treat her like I was. And, if anyone were to tell me that no mother would do what I had just done I would laugh at them. For, if during a sickness of any of her children, I had never seen my mother turn down a comforting cuddle, no matter what the risk to her.

As I got into bed and put my arms around her, Ruth gave my jaw a kiss, which was as far as she could reach. Like she and Olivia had done so many times before, laying in my arms, Ruth got as close to me as physically possible, coughed a little bit, and fell asleep. It may have been dangerous, but it was the right thing to do. If this illness was as serious as I had heard, I was not going to begrudge the sleeping child anything, I loved her so much, and, as I then realized I could never deny her anything, especially if it made her so happy.

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The days that followed went by like a blur. The majority of my days were spent with Ruth, mostly laying in bed, holding her. In the mornings when I woke up I would make Ruth breakfast, take it upstairs to her and get dressed while she was eating. Although he may have had his own suspicions Doctor Carter never asked if I had followed his 'no touching' policy, and I did not tell him otherwise.

As soon as the doctor left I would get back in bed with Ruth and would stay with her all day except for when I made food. I knew almost nothing of the outside world in those weeks were alone, however, it seemed that the weather seemed to mirror Ruth's condition, snowy and grey when she was feeling her worst, and sunny and bright when things got better.

With the house in quarantine we saw no one, except Doctor Carter, and no one saw us. When the family and Irene came back from the fair of the future we were not even allowed to see them, instead they stayed down the road with Gertrude in her house; Rose Cottage. The house was still and silent, except for Ruth's coughs which over the days got better, and less frequent.

Looking back on it I was absolutely foolish to look after Ruth on my own, and even more foolish to have her sleeping with me, but, knowing what I know now about the real future, I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world. In that week I learned what it was like to give myself, almost, completely to another person, I learned that I could show affection for someone, and maybe it was okay to love someone again. But, most of all, from that week I learned about my sister, again, I learned about her not in a bossy, older sibling way, but instead in a loving sister type of way. I learned about the sadness and guilt she had kept locked inside over the death of that ruddy cow ( I cannot even remember why she felt such guilt, but I do remember how profound it was).

After the week of sickness, Ruth and I were still on quarantine for another week. Most of that extra week was spent doing one of two things for me. I was either cleaning the house from top to bottom - which included have to give a good boiling to almost every piece of clothing or linen in the house. Or helping Ruth with the schoolwork that she had missed. I had to admit, while I was not overly fond of Muriel Stanley, she made sure that Ruth got her schoolwork, and would stay caught up with the other children.

However, while scrubbing was not my ideal way to spend a week. It was worth it, not the supremely clean house part - although that was nice as well. But, in the days that followed, seeing my eight year old sister be able to run around and play with the other children, and seeing her be able to go back to school, happier it seemed, than before, I knew that it had all been worth it.

Years later, when Ruth was sick again, this time in Montreal, I never gave it too much thought, or at least thought that it could be deadly. In my mind I never thought anything would be as dangerous as diphtheria, and even though I was not in Montreal at the time, I did start on the journey there, and I almost made it too her. But, that is another story for another time.

I was lucky, I never did get diphtheria, in those days we knew that certain illnesses were contagious, and we had an idea about how they spread, but knowing about germs and there disease passing ability was only fully discovered three years before Ruth got sick, and while Doctor Carter was often very knowledgeable, things were slow in getting to our little Avonlea in those days. Things are much the same now, Avonlea always seems the last to know anything, but, that's how I've always liked it, the best life is the life lived slowly.

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><p>AN - Not the most dialogue heavy chapter, but with Ruth sick there wouldn't be much time for speaking, as she would have been sleeping most of the time (hopefully). -V


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